Is that for gargling?

I am comparing one of my New Year's Eve jokes to my Summer's Eve joke, but it's turning out to be a wash...

0 to Pissy in 8 Seconds!

I was calmly reading a book about the history of Dodge trucks but got instantly hot when I flipped to the Ram page!

We Gotta Bleeder!

Why did Santa grow a beard? When he shaved, he got tired of the daily St. Nicks.

Rocket Flush

What do residential plumbers and rocket scientists have in common? I.C.B.M.'s.

I Promise I'll Pay You Back...

After getting stiffed for the check on her third date in a row, Susie, a teacher, was especially frustrated having to deal with yet another unfunded man date...

Peelin' Out

I participated in a race sponsored by Fruit of the Loom. My best times were recorded during the Banana Splits...

Taking candy from a baby!

This is Jenna's joke: what do you call an evil baby company? Grrrrrber!

Bargain-basement Books!

I am reading a great book all about basements. I picked it up because I saw it on the Best Cellar's list!

I can share pictures of bat poo!

A lot of school districts are now moving to and leveraging Google Apps for Education. Great stuff. I just read that a bunch of zoo's from around the nation are forming a coalition petitioning for the creation of Google Apes for Education. That's totally bananas.

Relax Tax Man!

More stories are being uncovered about the IRS.. they also apparently target massage clinics, which are notorious for owning back taxes....

Eat On The Run!

I was wandering around a local college campus this summer, and came across a 'Cannibals Anonymous' group. They were very warm and friendly towards me, even after I explained I had never been a cannibal. Apparently they really do like meating new people...

My Crunchy Queen!

Q: What's the difference between playing chess and sleeping with a crouton? A: When sleeping with a crouton, you always wind up with a stalemate.. #jdvjokes

Lamb Chop! Lamb Chop!

Friday Nite! 6:PM to Close! Lamb Chops! All Ewe Can Eat!

Startups can be hard!

At first, they didn't think Viagra was gonna make it, due to poor initial results from the soft launch... #jdvjokes

Now That's Organic!

I got distracted while gardening and wound up soiling myself! #jdvjokes

Wow That Latte Smells!

I read an article about the Dutch Brothers. Growing up, the had to share a room. So THAT'S where Dutch Ovens came from! #jdvjokes

Why the long face?

I frowning uses more muscles that smiling then excuse my while I exercise. #JDVJOKES

Gettin' Buzzed...

My buddy Ken went into this new tavern run by insects, and wound up going home with bar bee.

Bless.... you?

I got stuck on an elevator next to a huge scab that would not stop sneezing. I finally offered it some scar tissue....

Crazy Grass

I was reading this news story about a jail cell that was covered with hay. Apparently, this straw had caused a lot of trouble the previous night, so much so that it was currently being held without bale.

Making a Balloon Payment

Why do balloons only shop in mega-stores? The last thing they want to do is go into a Mom and Pop.