Gettin' Piggy With It

Oink-Aye! The last sound a pig makes before it becomes Canadian Bacon!

Munchies?

Ironically I made 'no-bake' cookies at 4:20 this afternoon.

All in!

I was really stinking it up the other night at video poker until the damn thing finally gave me a courtesy flush..

Stop! In the Name of Something...

I got invited to an ODOT Halloween party, where everyone was asked to come dressed as their favorite traffic control device. I got drunk, and blew the stop sign...

Here comes the bride!

Q: Where do grooms in Chicago buy their rings?

A: DaaaaaaBeers!

Very rough draft...

I tried writing a paper all about beer but couldn't concentrate anymore after the 6th draft....

This one is sew sew...

I was having a hard time remembering how to cross-stitch, so I went online and found a great discussion thread.

Boot Camp!

I tried this new camping workout. Man, it is totally in tents!

Oops....

SEAL died while out partying.

Apparently, his agent tried to warn him about clubbing...

Why are you so crabby?

Q: What do you call a crab who does not know his father?
A: A shellfish bastard!

7.5 Mile....

I just bought Eminem's new album but it melted in hand befor I got to my car :(.

Kick That Ringer!

I made a mobile out of cell phones for my son's crib, and was so proud of him when he made his first bootie call!

My Teacher Bites...

I signed up my dog for school and he literally became the teacher's pet....

La-hooo, Sa-her...

So I stumbled across this new antisocial networking site and saw that it could only have one member....

Workin' it!

I laid on the floor, and balanced a 6-pack on my abs for a few minutes...

Mom, Dad, Toot....

Anyone else find it a bit ironic that palindrome spelled backwards is emordnilap?

Here Fishy Fishy Fishy...

So I am gonna sign up for some how-to fishing videos. Today's lesson is baiting. The class is gonna be taught by a certified Master Baiter - apparently, he is so good at it, if you follow his techniques, you don't get the smell of fish on your hands.

Hee Haw!

Q: Why couldn't the donkey talk?

A: Someone glued his ass cheeks together!

Lazyboy 4th and 10...

So I was driving home and saw a bunch of furniture playing football. Sure enough, there was an armchair quarterback...

99.9% Up Time... In Your Pants?

"So why are you wearing two pairs of underwear?"

"Oh, I'm into high-availability and reduncancy... you know.... panty RAID."