I'm Logging In!! I'm Logging In!!

What's the difference between CTRL-ALT-DEL and an orgasm? CTRL-ALT-DEL takes three fingers to get ON...

Random Kick

Did you hear about the all blind soccer program? So there IS no eye in team!

Sticks To Your Ribs

Got a call from the school nurse: My kid was stuck to the wall again. I told him not to wear that heavy metal shirt, it's a magnet school for crying out loud!

May I Cut In (to you)?

I waltzed with the bacon, did the tango with the T-bone, and the two-step with the porter house. Man, I love Meat Balls...

Best. Grass. Ever.

Read that it was Hug A Vegetarian Day! Drat.. none around me... I guess I'll have to go hug a grass fed cow... then eat it.

I Like It When You Talk Clean..

If I ran a dental office, I'd hire a front desk person named 'Gene'. Cause then there would be a LOT of people saying, "Hi Gene!". And I'd probably snicker.

DAMN RIGHT I CAN LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP!

And in other news: Area health officials became concerned when growing number of men started visiting their doctors, complaining having to rush out of bed to the bathroom due to urgent urination issues and being 'angry as all get-out'. Further analysis revealed all of these men had recently purchased memory foam mattresses from the local super store over the holiday weekend; leading to the condition now dubbed as 'Temper Pee Dick'.

Code Dump!

Developer: "Man! I have been coding non stop! This week, I have been doing nothing but living, breathing, and eating HTML!" Friend: "Are you peeing HTML?" Developer: "Uh, not yet?" Friend: "OK Good. Let me know if you do, I know a great URL-ologist."

It's All Relative....

Oh I get it... Mother Earth and Auntie Gravity...

Calmer code?

If your browser is freaking out from too much hypertext, navigate to ritalin.com

You're it!!

Some say there are no new ideas... Take 'hash tag'... college kids have been doing that since the 60's....

Shaken, Not Stirred

James Bond's tuxedos: That's no cummerbund, that's a Q-cummerbund...

What did you say Sonny?

Fountain of Youth jokes... they just never get old..

Dating Rocks!

A buddy of mine tried out this new Carbon Dating Service, and apparently they hooked him up with some old fossil...

Wolverine!

I just washed my lunch dishes, and now they smell like radiator fluid and pee. I guess next time I won't use the Red Dawn....

Water Bubble?

Not even Super Hero's are immune to this economy! Just today I read that Aqua Man's house is STILL underwater!

Hip Hop Wrap

When the Elves are working 24/7 leading up to Christmas, I bet they listen to wrap music to stay motivated.