Wednesday, April 18, 2007

From a winner at the first annual Marshmallow Chick Awards:

"...I'd like to give a shout out to me peeps...."

All rise....?

A porn star was accused of a heinous crime, and was brought to trial. The end result: She got off.

Hung jury.

Old McDonald had a farm..

Two farmers with adjoining properties had both harvested their wheat crop into large piles. Near the end of the day, a terrible wind storm blew in and scattered the wheat onto each other's property. The farmers began arguing over who's wheat was who's..
"That's my grain!" exclaimed the first farmer.
"No, that's MY grain! "shouted the second.
"No, I said that's my grain!" screamed the first.
"Alright, enough already," replied the second. "Trying to figure out what's my grain is giving me a terrible headache!"

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Potato what???

So I heard Mrs. Potato Head went down on Fidel Castro.... something to do with him being a Dick Tator....

Sunday School...

(Small child to Sunday School Teacher)

...So did Jesus just turn real bunnies into chocolate???

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Road kill

A guy was sitting on the side of the road with a bucket and a sign asking for road kill donations. Funny thing is, a few people stopped by an actually gave a rat's ass...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


So I'm at this art show, and I see this big white piece of canvas with bloody footprints and some splatter marks on it and think to myself, "Hm. Must be a period piece."

Dating at 30,000 feet

So I tried picking up on some chicks on my flight out here... that was a bad idea... turns out they ALL had baggage....

Friday, January 26, 2007

Something fishy about this one...

Two friends were finishing up a day of fishing at the river. As the boat was headed to shore, one of the friends told the other a very funny joke. The guy wound up laughing all the way to the bank.

I want to pulp you up...

Q: How can you tell if a piece of paper has been hitting the gym?

A: If its ripped!