Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Is that for gargling?

I am comparing one of my New Year's Eve jokes to my Summer's Eve joke, but it's turning out to be a wash...

Thursday, December 04, 2014

0 to Pissy in 8 Seconds!

I was calmly reading a book about the history of Dodge trucks but got instantly hot when I flipped to the Ram page!

We Gotta Bleeder!

Why did Santa grow a beard? When he shaved, he got tired of the daily St. Nicks.

Monday, December 01, 2014

Rocket Flush

What do residential plumbers and rocket scientists have in common? I.C.B.M.'s.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

I Promise I'll Pay You Back...

After getting stiffed for the check on her third date in a row, Susie, a teacher, was especially frustrated having to deal with yet another unfunded man date...

Monday, November 10, 2014

Peelin' Out

I participated in a race sponsored by Fruit of the Loom. My best times were recorded during the Banana Splits...

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Taking candy from a baby!

This is Jenna's joke: what do you call an evil baby company? Grrrrrber!

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Bargain-basement Books!

I am reading a great book all about basements. I picked it up because I saw it on the Best Cellar's list!

Friday, September 05, 2014

I can share pictures of bat poo!

A lot of school districts are now moving to and leveraging Google Apps for Education. Great stuff. I just read that a bunch of zoo's from around the nation are forming a coalition petitioning for the creation of Google Apes for Education. That's totally bananas.

Relax Tax Man!

More stories are being uncovered about the IRS.. they also apparently target massage clinics, which are notorious for owning back taxes....

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Eat On The Run!

I was wandering around a local college campus this summer, and came across a 'Cannibals Anonymous' group. They were very warm and friendly towards me, even after I explained I had never been a cannibal. Apparently they really do like meating new people...

Thursday, May 29, 2014

My Crunchy Queen!

Q: What's the difference between playing chess and sleeping with a crouton? A: When sleeping with a crouton, you always wind up with a stalemate.. #jdvjokes

Thursday, May 01, 2014

Lamb Chop! Lamb Chop!

Friday Nite! 6:PM to Close! Lamb Chops! All Ewe Can Eat!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Startups can be hard!

At first, they didn't think Viagra was gonna make it, due to poor initial results from the soft launch... #jdvjokes

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Now That's Organic!

I got distracted while gardening and wound up soiling myself! #jdvjokes

Wow That Latte Smells!

I read an article about the Dutch Brothers. Growing up, the had to share a room. So THAT'S where Dutch Ovens came from! #jdvjokes

Why the long face?

I frowning uses more muscles that smiling then excuse my while I exercise. #JDVJOKES

Friday, March 21, 2014

Gettin' Buzzed...

My buddy Ken went into this new tavern run by insects, and wound up going home with bar bee.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Bless.... you?

I got stuck on an elevator next to a huge scab that would not stop sneezing. I finally offered it some scar tissue....

Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Crazy Grass

I was reading this news story about a jail cell that was covered with hay. Apparently, this straw had caused a lot of trouble the previous night, so much so that it was currently being held without bale.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

Making a Balloon Payment

Why do balloons only shop in mega-stores? The last thing they want to do is go into a Mom and Pop.